On welfare
In Dutch there is a saying: "to burn your ships behind you", which is (but of course) a naval expression meaning so much as making sure there is no way back. That was the feeling I had today, when I was shredding the last evidence of my existence at the Court of Bosnia and Herzegovina.
Although last Friday was my last working day, I had to come in today to go through all the binders I accumulated over the last 2,5 years of work, and to sign a last decision in which I was the legal officer. At 16.00 I was done with this, and from now on I can at least look the 45.5% unemployed of this country in the eyes again. Every disadvantage has it's advantage, is what a great Dutch philosopher once said....
Last Friday night I had a hard time falling asleep, and the next day I felt hungover without having had a single drop of alcohol the night before (I am on antibiotics currently, and I was not allowed to drink until today. I never realized how much I enjoy drinking until this week. I am getting worried). Existential questions ran through my head: "Am I crazy to quit a very well paid position for the insecurity of no job at all?" "Does my bright and shining future lie behind me?" "Is there life after unemployment?" "What am I going to do with my life?". and for two days I was feeling sorry for my self (which is actually quite nice for a short period of time. Some misanthropic or depressed feelings are great for artistic thought- the best writers had miserable youths, and I didn't, so I have some catching up to do...) .
Anyhow, although I have not figured things completely out yet, I am happy with my decision. In all fairness, I actually know quite well what I want to do, and those of you who have talked to me know it too- my own secrets are not safe with myself.... As soon as things concerning my future plans become more clear, I will 'blog' them.
So for now: stop wining like a little girl, and get your act together (So no stress, this is the last blog about not working and stuff like that)! For those who feel sorry for me after reading this: thanks, thanks a lot. However, empathy will not keep me of welfare. Money does. Call me for my bank account number, and don't be shy...
Although last Friday was my last working day, I had to come in today to go through all the binders I accumulated over the last 2,5 years of work, and to sign a last decision in which I was the legal officer. At 16.00 I was done with this, and from now on I can at least look the 45.5% unemployed of this country in the eyes again. Every disadvantage has it's advantage, is what a great Dutch philosopher once said....
Last Friday night I had a hard time falling asleep, and the next day I felt hungover without having had a single drop of alcohol the night before (I am on antibiotics currently, and I was not allowed to drink until today. I never realized how much I enjoy drinking until this week. I am getting worried). Existential questions ran through my head: "Am I crazy to quit a very well paid position for the insecurity of no job at all?" "Does my bright and shining future lie behind me?" "Is there life after unemployment?" "What am I going to do with my life?". and for two days I was feeling sorry for my self (which is actually quite nice for a short period of time. Some misanthropic or depressed feelings are great for artistic thought- the best writers had miserable youths, and I didn't, so I have some catching up to do...) .
Anyhow, although I have not figured things completely out yet, I am happy with my decision. In all fairness, I actually know quite well what I want to do, and those of you who have talked to me know it too- my own secrets are not safe with myself.... As soon as things concerning my future plans become more clear, I will 'blog' them.
So for now: stop wining like a little girl, and get your act together (So no stress, this is the last blog about not working and stuff like that)! For those who feel sorry for me after reading this: thanks, thanks a lot. However, empathy will not keep me of welfare. Money does. Call me for my bank account number, and don't be shy...
posted by David Hein at 5:01 PM
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